Drowning

Can someone throw me a line?
I beseech you! A line, please――

I thought I could swim.
I thought I was ready

To test these new waters,

But now I’m sinking.

My limbs have tired out

from fighting the currents.

Now I float here, motionless,

My efforts for naught.

Oh, for a life preserver!

For a sign of hope!

Someone...something...

Come and save me!――

One...two...three...

Too late――

I’m done.

Confession

It’s hopeless, my dear――
I still think of you.

Sure as I sit here tonight

I cannot deny it.

Try as I may, it seems

I am unable to suppress
My desire...

Still, I know I must try

To silence it, for both our sakes.

February 10, 1982

It’s bright! It’s cold!——

I don’t wanna get out of bed!
I’m not fully awake.

I’m surrounded by strangers, naked no less.

There’s a mirror set before me——

Everyone sees the seven-pound blob I’ve become.

Someone in mask, cap, and glove

Takes me, cleans me, wraps me in warmth

Though it’s not the warmth I knew before.

There is one whose voice I recognize;

She holds me close, smiles at me.

She waits for me to open my eyes...

I’m not ready to wake up—I need more time.

Give me another three to six decades...

Then, maybe, I’ll understand why I’m here. 

December 1, 1995

It’s a few weeks to Christmas.
I peek into my little red stocking
And see a lonely lump of coal.

Surely, Santa didn’t give me this.

He’s busy double-checking his lists;
The sleigh’s still in the shop. No, no――

I think I know these prints, these

Black smudges soiling my sock.
See, Santa never leaves a trace;

Even when he dishes coal,

He does so with a silent grace―
Not this appalling ruckus.

It appears I received this ugly stone

As a going-away present――and yet
I had only arrived not long ago.

My holiday will not be happy;

Before long I may cease to believe

That reindeer know how to fly.

Persephone and Hades (revised)

I pick flowers one morning in my valley
As I walk on to begin another day.
I have never known any pain,
Under the umbrella of my mother’s love.

Diem perdidi! My days are lost

To rusted metal and screeching wheels;
I shall never know the world again
For I have left my dear Olympus.

You drag me far below the Earth
And lock me away with your dead,
Reteaching me the concept of love
And building for me a dungeon of sheets.
 
Three years pass; I know the cost of a cat

And in exchange I pay with pain――

Three-fourths of the year, incapacitated!
My days of youth and joy have now died.

Four more years—the brooding season returns.

My young belly swells once again.
By now I beg to be free――
But alas, slapped silent! So I write it down.

You keep me “home,” feeding me books

And a pantry of sour arils;      
I again see light, two-thirds of the year,
But under the distortion of haze.
 
You claim yourself divinity
And tell me to worship sex;
My girls become your altar boys
And I, your temple prostitute.

Has the cold heart of Hades become aflame?

Have you finally seen the face of God?
You have now shed your devilish mask
And released me from your shadows.

For eighteen years I forget the Sun

But in her place find two brilliant lights;
They shall shine on, now and always
Among their divine sister stars.

Purge Scenario #3

Alone, in the dark,

Outside of your house...

I’m screaming.

I’m screaming...

I’M SCREAMING!!!...

All falls silent.

You...I...we...

Fall silent.

Striptease

I’m standing before you.

I’m standing before you

In some static dimension.

I’m standing before you―

Inside and outside of myself...

I'm standing...I’m peeling away.

As you command, I’m peeling away,

Removing my layers, one by one...

My walls, my barriers――

As I peel away, you see it.

You see the grunge, the skin of dirt.

You see the truth. You see it――

You’ve seen enough. No―

You’ve seen more than enough.

But it’s not enough...you want more.

So I continue on, discarding

My last line of defense.

You see everything. You see my――

I swallow my breaths...

 

I’ve been exposed.